Knowing yourself abroad

Hey Peeps,

I began this blog some time ago. Upon rereading it, I felt that it would be necessary to wrap it up and post it. So, here I am, posting this older post. I hope it is informative and thought-provoking!

I was reading a blog, a home design blog in fact, and I noticed something, the blogger, HGTV Host of the show 'Fixer Upper' Joanna Gaines, discusses the reason behind one of her home decor piece. She starts off the blog post writing:
   
      "I’m a visual person. I like to post things in obvious places so I can go through my day thinking about what’s important."

This posting, which is linked to the phrase, "home design blog" in my first sentence, is regarding a board that has 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 neatly written on it. It is reminder to herself about what God describes love as being. So this blog got me thinking, how important is it to know yourself?

As a Psych minor, I have really learned to discover myself, which includes my strengths, weaknesses, and personal boundaries. The most important thing I have learned about myself is the process in which I determine my habits and actions as a personality trait or as a learned behavior. By being able to unthread the fabric of my being to its origins, I can figure out my needs, my limitations, and my tendencies, both good and bad.

Here's where it becomes really important to know oneself. Each nation and culture have a cultural habits that can lift people up and tear them down. With both individuals and cultures, characteristics need to be treated like a double-edged sword. This imagery for me comes from the Bible, where in Hebrews 4:11-13, it says:

      ^"Let us therefore strive to enter that rest, so that no one may fall by the same sort of disobedience.  For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account."

Granted, when the Word of God, the Bible, is being described as a double-edged sword, it is conveying the seemingly harsh and quick penetration of the Lord's Word when it exposes that which we offer to Him. This imagery that we see as being war-like is also a reference to how the Jewish leaders used to offer sacrifices to the Lord. They would dissect the offered animal and inspect them for imperfections. Note, I do not consider myself an expert in any way of Jewish or Christian imagery or history, though one day I pray I can be learned in such fields. I just know where to look for Biblical Commentaries, thanks to my mom.

While the sword is used to illustrate the Lord's dissection of our soul, the sword is also a symbol of human destruction and unnecessary violence towards each other.  I say 'unnecessary' because some violence is a necessary reaction to another's violence, one that protects against evil. Likewise, personal and cultural characteristics have an aspect that is good and an aspect that is destructive. As students or people living abroad, we have to learn to recognize where our characteristics can be good for us and where it blurs into self-destruction. 

For example, I am a true coffee drinker. I am so bad that I have been known to over-caffeinated myself. When I get anxious, I tend to reach for coffee, teas, or sweets; but, I also am more sensitive to caffeinated, thus it is easier to be over-caffeinated.

Japanese culture is a culture of drinking. This comes from their communal society, in which it is the citizen's duty to protect societal peace, even at the expense of one's own needs. As a result, the Japanese people not only have a hard time being straight forward with their own thoughts and emotions, but they are taught that saying 'no' creates unnecessary tension amongst people. So, those of you who have worked alongside the Japanese, this is why they will be ambiguous in their answers and seemingly will not follow through with their promises; their 'promises' are often the cultural way of saying 'no'. Since the Japanese are not straightforward with others, they find it difficult to warm up to each other and loosen up. You might see where this is going.

It is a common practice in the Japanese work force and in college groups to have frequent after-work or weekend drinking parties. Technically, it would be more like a dinner, where people gather to chat and relax with the people they are often around. However, in application, it becomes a drinking party. As Caucasian foreigner who does not drink at all, I was not pressured into drinking when the dinners I went to turned towards that direction. Note, those who look non-Asian are given more cultural freedom in Japan because we are easily identified as a foreigner. Foreigners who either look Asian or are from an Asian culture are subjected to the Japanese cultural rules and can be looked down upon for not adhering to them, since the lack of adherence is seen as a rejection of the 'communal good' or 'peace'.

So where does knowing oneself coming into play in this example? Well, I love new tastes and am always seeking new foods and drinks. I am also one who can easily form destructive habits. My coffee-drinking habit is a prime example of it. Because I know these two aspects about myself, I had to choose not to drink alcohol. While caffeine does make me jittery and can magnify my physical anxiety, it is not mind-altering in the way alcohol is. With that in mind, I avoid all alcohol. Yet, while I was in Japan, it was hard not to be tempted to taste alcohol when it was all around me. As a result, to counter that temptation, I carefuly chose carefully my social outings. If people were going to an izakaya, which is a place where social norms were allowed be hung up and forgotten over food and drinks, I had to decline the invitation, because these izakaya were often places where drinking is pushed upon people. Most, if not all, izakaya will have a nomihoudai, or "all-you-can-drink", plan that had to be paid for by all the people attending the dinner or not be an option. While izakaya offer a small non-drinking section of the nomihoudai drinks, it is manly there to get people to drink more and more alcohol.  So, I often chose not to go to a dinner at an izakaya if it was not a birthday or school function. Also, while I could control my urges to try an alcoholic drink, I didn't want to be one of the few, or only, sober person, since it would become my duty as the sober guest to make sure everyone got to the train station or home safely. I was that person one time, in fact. It was because of that night that I chose to limit my time at izakaya functions.

With all that being said, I had to know myself to understand that I should limit my exposure to the Japanese drinking culture. Now, this is not the only experience I had to make judgement calls about what I should or should not do while abroad, but this is the most straightforward example. Other examples had more to do with making decisions about going to events through time, energy, and financial means. In short, you have to know yourself to make sound decisions about your activities, especially when you are abroad and having to deal with another culture. It is difficult because you are wanting to and expected to be respectful to cultural differences and experience as much about the culture as you can, but when is it become too much or too dangerous for you? Only you can decide.

That is a lot to think about, but I think it is all worth it.

Until then, later peeps!