Mito City Proj.

Hey, peeps!

This past year, as my injured hand recovered from a major surgery, I have been thinking about what to do with this blog.

I started this to share with the world things I was learning as an exchange student about Japan. That was now 11 years ago. I got in a rut when life grew challenging, but now I am in a better place. So, what to do?

Well...

...This year at one of my new schools, my principal has been telling me some interesting facts about our city, Mito. Some of the info includes the origin of regional names. 

(In Japan, each neighborhood has retained their former names from back when this was a castle town.)

As I was thinking of my next steps towards an art career, I was thinking about some new projects that'll help me out.

Enter Mito History.

There isn't much information in English about my town's history, despite it being major castle town during the Edo Period (Age of the samurai and Tokugawa Shogunate, roughly 1600-1868).

If I want a chance at passing the Japanese proficiency test (to improve my livelihood and job opportunities), I need to use and challenge my Japanese, too. So, what better way than to read Japanese books about Mito history  and blog about it all! This information is absolutely fascinating and goes back to the 700s AD! Just incredible and I didn't know this until this week as I began researching the town's history.

While I am reading my town's history, I am trying to figure out where to start. What kinds of general info do I want to share? Once I begin explaining the history, should I start with relative places or go through it all chronologically?

There is a lot to consider and a lot of info to digest. Regardless I excited to start this project and look forward to sharing with you all thd information I can find!

Until then, later peeps!

Some of our Struggles with a Teacher

 Hey Peeps,

So, here in Japan, we are saying goodbye to our graduates. Schools start in April and end in March. As teachers, we are shuffled around the towns or nation, depending on the teaching program we're in, and have to say goodbye to our kids. That's what happened to me. This last April I was sent to another school to teach. 

Now, what is cool about Japanese schools is that the old teachers send messages that are posted on a board for the graduating students to read. I love seeing that each year and it fills me with such joy and happiness. But,...

...what happens when you, the old teacher, don't send a message? It's expected of you, especially if you loved those kids. What monster doesn't send a message!?

...Me...of course. Why else would I be writing such a blog entry? (Who writes blogs anymore anyways?)

This year... It was tough, tougher than I expected. This was supposed to be the 'easy' year. The year I built myself up and fixed what needed to be fixed in me and my life. I went through a tough few years, but the worst was behind me...or so I thought. 

And that's the thing. Life...is tough. We try to do our best, but sometimes we crumble instead. We survive the worst and fall apart when we thought we could finally hold ourselves together. We are human. We fight when we need to, then collapse from exhaustion. And, sometimes life comes in and kicks us when we are down. These kicks don't have to be...well, the hardest things we'd dealt with to make us fall. They just have to be well-placed and well-timed. Just landing where it stings the most.

This year, I collapsed at the finish line. I fought the good fight and fell short of the world's expectations. Now, I know what the kids will think. "I thought she liked us?" The parents, too. 

...We may be teachers, but we are humans, too. I know I failed my former students...in many ways. They are my precious students and I didn't show them that on their special day. I can give them a thousand reasons, but...it doesn't change the fact that I fell down before their graduation. 

I also know...I am not alone in feeling this guilt. I want to pass judgment on myself, much like someone else wants to pass judgment on themselves. I want to chastise myself for not upholding my social duties to my students, much like others want to chastise themselves. 

Whether we're a teacher, a friend, a parent, sibling, or leader, we will fail. We will hurt our precious people. We cannot always make it up to them. So, now what?

We ask for mercy, grace, and forgiveness and acknowledge that it happened. Acknowledge our broken humanity. If we can't forgive ourselves, how can we forgive others and how can others forgive us?

So, don't be me. Don't bury yourself in your own guilt. Don't rip your heart to shreds. Don't try to inflict the pain on your own soul that you think others will feel from your mistakes. We are not the Great Equalizer; we can only do more damage.

Later Peeps.

Beginnings and Challenges

     As the new year chugs into a new season, I am looking down the last bit of the tunnel before starting my life's dream: writing manga (Japanese comics). I always loved daydreaming and story-creation. I remember being in the bathtub as a young elementary student, whishing and washing in the waters for hours as I acted out adventures for my favorite Disney characters: Nala and Simba. Now, I am just shy of being 34 years old and have the adventures of my own characters waiting to unfold on paper.

    It's scary starting a new adventure because it could fall flat. I could fail and my endeavors could be all for naught. Yet, here I am, finalizing some stuff for this series. I hope all goes well, but I won't know until the first of (hopefully) many chapters go up.

    While I am looking at a new beginning, many of my students are also about to take a new first step. This step is into high school. This is where they will have their first firm step on the path of their choice career. Unlike US high schools, which are finishing up young souls' general education, Japanese high schools can have study paths tailored towards specific career fields. These aren't private schools, either. It isn't uncommon for public schools to have a STEM path or an Arts and Language path. Students have to start thinking about their career paths during junior high so they can study to pass the entrance exams into their preferred high school and start their future off on the 'right foot'.

...And here I am in my mid-30's without my foot in the door...yet. There is some pain behind those words, yet recognition that no one's path is the same. Some go into careers for money, others for later opportunities. And then, there are some who stumble into a career for better or for worse. Some paths start earlier than others', too. As one of my upperclassmen students said today, it isn't just the results that matter, the path is important, too. 

    So, what has been my path? Wide. Broad. And long. I never wanted to study Japanese. In junior high, I chose Spanish for my 8th grade elective. I had studied Spanish on my own for years and wanted to start my path down bilingualism as quickly as possible. Then, the week after I took the 8th grade Spanish 2 entrance exam, I found out that I had to take Japanese in high school due to some district transfer politics. 

    I cried upon hearing the news. I was in the car with my mom going somewhere (probably to Trader Joe's) and... I realized something then. Maybe...Japanese had a purpose in my life. Never considered taking the "world's hardest language" (as it was known amongst friends and high school teammates), but that didn't mean it wasn't going to be important to me. I just needed to see where it took me.

...Learning Japanese was the hard-...let me correct myself... is the hardest thing I have attempted. I am still learning it little by little. The second hardest challenge was learning to draw... Of course, two of my most difficult subjects would be integral to my dreams and become my majors in school.   I even minored in two VERY DIFFERENT subjects to help support my movement forward in Japanese and art. My path has definitely been unique.

    The further I traveled down my path after deciding to pursue manga, the more I recognized how intertwined Japan had been in my early life. Most of the shows I had watched were Japanese or had a large number of Japanese on the creative team. The games I had enjoyed were Japanese. The music I had come to enjoy was Japanese. Even one of the movies that was important to me and my maternal grandma was Japanese. 

    Then, there was the matter of a rather unique Japanese figure that piqued my interest in ~ you guessed it- Japanese history: the WWII-era Japanese diplomat to Lithuania, Chiune Sugihara. This man ended up saving thousands of Jews and millions of future descendants by writing visas for these fleeing Jews through Japan. This man was so unique in this era of history that I began researching Japanese historical culture to understand where that strength of his to oppose his country's allies came from. Spoiler alert: this strength wasn't from his cultural ties, but from his Christian beliefs.  

    I had studied this man in my 6th homeschooling WWII class. Years later, I would work (as a student volunteer) with someone who knew Sugihara's daughter and had invited her on multiple occasions to speak at his school. Then, I unknowingly attended Sugihara's alma mater during my year studying abroad. This man's strength... it has become my strength, though our paths are ultimately different.

...And yes, I maybe rambling a bit because my path hasn't been a simple one. It has been complex with many recurring themes and figures helping me move forward. So, yeah. It's taken me longer to get to the place I've been wanting to be, but I am at the cusp of it now. I can feel the cool, refreshing waters of that starlit pool of dreams and aspirations on the tips of my toes... 

  ...Another one of my students had entered an English speech competition this year and gave an amazing speech. In this speech, she mentioned that age and dreams are not reliant on each other (I am paraphrasing). Age is only a number...Which reminds me of the American folk artist, Grandma Moses, who didn't even start her art career until her late 70's. 

    If you are like me, don't give up. I do- not- know- how many times I have heard that today from my upperclassmen students. They were giving and recording speeches for their juniors to see later, speeches inspired by one of Steve Jobs' speeches, speeches to inspire their juniors. And yet, they have inspired their teachers, too. So,...

.... Don't give up...

...Age is but a number...

...Your path is just as important as your accomplishments...

...And lastly,...

"Boys, Be Ambitious!"

    ~William S. Clark, April 16, 1877

    To the students and staff of Sapporo Agricultural College (now Hokkaido University) before his departure.

Until then,

Later, Peeps!

From the Jungles to the Cottontail Hills

As we move from the Year of the Tiger to the Year of the Rabbit, I wanted to sit and reflect on 2022. It's been a rocky, but forgiving year for me, a mix of goodbyes and beginnings. So, let's say our goodbyes first:

Goodbye to my pain, for my hand surgery last year was successful.

Goodbye to my previous school; I was given an extra year to fight through our big project and see it through to the end.

Goodbye to my great-uncle, who singlehandedly got me to Japan multiple times and got me through college. I never did properly thank him.

Goodbye to my grandmother and the last of my grandparents. She was a cinderella through life and showed an amazing strength in life til the very end.

Goodbye to my regrets and fears for God has tackled and torn them down before me and I have made it through their shadows and into God's light!

The Lord has been faithful even when I struggled in my faith.

Now, let's explore my firsts:

My first time teaching junior high: it is amazing and wonderful. A true breath of fresh air for my tired soul.

My first time entering an illustration competition: it was nerve-wracking and unsuccessful, but I just decided on my next entry for 2023! It's my first step forward after years of backtracking.

My first gallery: tiny, but exciting! I can't wait to have one again!

Shout to my friend, Hannah Grace! This year brought forth her first live anime concert! She was so beautiful and spectacular! Please look for her song, Memory Lane, in this last part of Shingeki mo Kyojin/ Attack on Titan!

There are probably other firsts and goodbyes I haven't said, but these are the ones guiding me down my path. These have made me stronger and more resilient ir restored my faith and hope. Especially Hannah Grace's success. I've told her privately, but, because we walk a similar path, her big break into anime has reminded me that God isn't done with my dreams of becoming a manga artist. HE has rooted that dream so deep into my soul for some unforeseen purpose. I will continue to fight for that dream this next year, too.

So, what about next year? What plans do I have?

Well, to pick up where I left off when I got injured so many years ago:

Look for love.

Build up my art career and website...this blog included.

Reconnect with friends from whom I hid away in my desperate survival through my chronic pain and terrible injury.

---And---

Try writing music for my manga. I have lyrics I've written. Now's the time to return to my old passion of music...after many, many, MANY years!

Like bunnies in spring, I pray the blessings of the Lord may be bountiful and ever-multiplying for you all in 2023! 

(Yes, I made that joke.)

Later, peeps.

Dreams, Stresses, and Life of an Expat

 Hey Peeps,

It's been about 10 years since I started this blog and the last few years have been slow... Last time I posted was 1.5 years ago. 

I started this blog to chronicle my life abroad as a student, then tried to revive it for my time as a teacher. But, life can become muddled, which is what I want to share with whomever needs support. Sometimes knowing that others are fighting against their own struggles is all you need to keep up your fight.

So, where did I leave off at? 

My grandma survived a near-death medical emergency. My injured thumb (I thought) was getting better. And I had plans to pick this blog up again... That went over as well as building a house out of toilet paper.

While my life now is much, much better than it was in 2020, I had to go through a lot last year. I understand that people have it a lot worse than me, but it still was a lot for me.

But, what did happen? ...Just about everything that could happen.

2021 started off with another health scare for my grandma as her body and mind was failing. She had quit eating and we were told once again that she could pass away at any time. ...Then she kept living.

Meanwhile, one of our church friends went into the hospital and never came back out. Also, my favorite childhood singer passed away, as well. 

Then, March came and went.  I was supposed to move schools under our program's year-limit per school; however, my school had been crowned as a model school in English in our region of Japan and was heading into their final preparations for a huge open-class and research project. I had spent that prior year in and out of various open-classes, or what we call 'observations' and had been in the middle of this project. For this reason, I was given an extra year at my school...

...Life was looking up...until....

I couldn't fall asleep on Easter night. That week was the start of the new school year and our cute little first graders would be welcomed into the school with a big 'Entrance Ceremony', a highly prestigious ceremony that every Japanese school holds each year in April.

As I berated myself for not 'being adult enough' to go to sleep on time, my mom called- in the middle of the night-. The timing told me everything I needed to know.

Grandma had passed away.

She had been an elementary school teacher for about 40 years, teaching almost exclusively the cute little first graders whom she adored. Needless to say, last year's Entrance Ceremony was incredibly special to me. I made sure to attend, despite taking the rest of the week off to grieve.

Dealing with deaths in your family or circle of friends is difficult. I handled the death of my friend in February differently than my grandma's because my friend's was fairly unexpected. My grandma's death, though, was a relief in many ways. Thanks to Covid, I couldn't go home for the funeral (which was postponed to Cinco de Mayo). That was a choice that ....I wouldn't have been able to handle well. My hand was still messed up, I needed vacation days if I were to try getting another opinion of the injury, I didn't know when my grandma's funeral was going to be....the list of variables goes on. Simply put, having no choice but to skip the funeral was a mental relief. Plus, I had survived one of my worst expat fears-losing family while abroad.  

Grandma's timely passing also freed up my mind for getting my thumb re-evaluated. In February 2017, I had hit my hand snowboard and had severe. irregular chronic pain. I knew what activities would spike the pain, but could never predict when it would start hurting...

While my grandma was still alive, I felt that, by seeking treatment for thumb, I would be forced to choose between the treatment and seeing my Grandma one last time...except she passed away before I could see her again. It still hurts admitting that, but God knew I needed treatment. Grandma's passing couldn't have come at a better time.

That month I crawled back to the only hospital in town with a hand surgeon, a place from which I had already sought multi-week treatment twice, and was nearly sick with the fear of never finding the cause of my pain.

....And that was the start of my new school year. Yay.

The rest of the school year just escalated in stress and busyness. I spent from last May to this February going to the hospital. My head English teacher and I started on the final observation's preparations at the end of May, which included a prefectural 'test' observation in July and the real thing in late October. Going into that final observation, we had a month of online classes thanks to Covid and had no prior training in online teaching. 

Regarding that October observation, oh my gosh, we had to rework our lesson plans daily due to the online classes, Covid regulations, crazy expectations, the works. 

I also found out that two little bones in my thumb (called sesamoids) were swollen and would have to be removed so I could heal. I had that surgery in late November, just over a month after my school's final English observation.

Christmas came and went with the outpouring of all my pent-up stress and tears, then we hit the ground running with school's final trimester of the year. As I was (finally) drawing up nearly a hundred magnets for my 6th graders' grad presents, classes went back online for a month, then we had graduation and the announcements for our leaving teachers... I found out less than a month ago that I was being moved to another school...well, thanks Japan for a whole two-weeks to finish up my 6th grade presents and make teachers' going away gifts (which I never got to make...)

But, God is gracious and knows what we need. While my old school had become my family, I recognize that I needed to reset and start fresh elsewhere. 

As is the tradition, us leaving teachers had our goodbye ceremony at school on March 31st, only to turn around the next day on April 1st and start at our new schools (what a joke!)! 

A turbulent finish to a turbulent chapter of my life. 

When life gives you lemons, it's hard to figure out how to handle all these lemons. That struggle only gets magnified when you live overseas in a place where your mother tongue isn't used much. So, sometimes it feels that you have big plans for how to utilize all these lemons, only for more lemons to show up... 1 step forward, 2..3 steps back.

It's natural to be overwhelmed. It's natural to feel lost or even crazy over your life's struggles. It is hard to keep fighting, but nothing will be resolved if you quit. 

My advice? Firstly, figure out your emotional patterns and tendencies. Knowing these will help you to know when to rest and what triggers certain emotions. You will learn how to effectively and more healthily cope with the stresses.

Secondly, ...honestly. Trust God. In Genesis 50:20, Joseph, who hand been sold by his brothers and struggled to keep moving forward, said,

As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.

Because Joseph was sold into slavery, he was given the opportunity to oversee the provision collection and distribution for a severe drought.

The Bible also states in Isaiah 41:13,

For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it it I who say to you, "Fear not, I am the one who helps you."

 As the Bible clearly states, God intends for good, not for harm. So, when things go south, we can still find important experiences, growth, and lessons from the tough times. Seeking these out gives meaning to our suffering! 

Romans 5:1-5

Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God our Lord Jesus Christ. Through Him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the Glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our suffering knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

God has known that tough situations can build us up if we choose to have faith in Him. 

I still have dreams to further expand this blog, but I need to be patient with the Lord, for He knows what I need to do first. 

Until then,

Later Peeps! 

 

Autumn Moon

It is now autumn!....At least according to the calendar. Mother Nature has yet to receive that memo!  

Anyways, during September, Japanese take time to celebrate the beautiful Autumnal Equinox and its moon, as well as the elderly in our community. 

Back in April, I had written about my grandma's sudden health decline. By the Grace of God, she made a miraculous recovery and is now in a senior citizen home. And her 40 years of teaching apparently made her resistant to this crazy Covid virus! She tested positive shortly after moving into a home and never developed any symptoms! She is truly a tough woman just like her mother!

So, what has happened over the months after? Well, in Japan, we quickly started reintroducing class time to students. This was a bit easier to do because our school year starts in April. The kids' classes were split into Half A and Half B to keep the student population low. Starting in the last weeks of April, we would have the classes come for only the morning. Half A would come one day and the next day would be Half B. Only the most important core classes would be taught, such as math, language arts, and social studies, with additional assignments being given as at-home studies. 

In May, we upped the morning classes to twice a week while still maintaining Half-Class policy, meaning teachers were teaching four out of the five days. Because early May is chockful of national holidays (making up what is known as 'Golden Week'), these classes didn't start until mid-May.

After a couple of weeks, we recombined the halves and allowed students to go to school with all their classmates in the morning. 

By the second week of June, we began having normal length days again and have maintained that ever since. 

Now, of course, social distancing practices have been institutionalized since the beginning of this mess. Students are not supposed to touch each other nor speak to each other or in class without a mask on. All desks must face forward. Windows are routinely opened to air out any germs. And any students or staff with cold-like symptoms are asked to stay home. 

Any other rules are decided upon by the schools themselves.

Since students missed the last month of the previous school year and the first 1.5 mouths of this year, our summer vacation was moved from mid-July to early August and shortened from 4 weeks to 2 weeks. Also, the school year has been reduced from 3 trimesters to 2 semesters, with the first semester ending in a couple of years. 

It is a truly bizarre year. Each week brings changes and new additions to the ever-evolving Covid school format, giving all the teachers headaches. But, the students are happy to see their friends! That is what is important!


In short, this year is a toughie. With so much going on, it is easy to be angry or depressed. So, if it is possible, take a peek at this year's full Autumnal Equinox moon and think of blessing in your life. 

"I'm still alive!" 

"I got to see my kids!"

"I read a book for the first time in years!"

Whatever your blessing is, it is important to keep that in mind during this struggle. And, trust me, no matter what diarrhea-like darkness hits the fan, there is still a blessing to be found within the struggle. Find your Polaris and never let go!

Til next time, Later Peeps! 

Sakura, Sakura...

Sakura- the symbol of spring, the emblem of the beginning and the end. As they begin to bloom, students end their time at one school to begin another, young adults transition into their careers, the older adults finally retire to their home life. 

The sakura- Japanese cherry blossoms- are short-lived perennials, gentle in scent, color, and taste. A warm reminder that after a harshly cold winter, the sun will return to warm our icy toes and flowers will brightly paint the world in their exciting new colors!

Sakura, Sakura...the petals of transcience scatter like the tears from both the excited and the grieving.

In this virus-ridden time, the sakura still are opening and spreading their soft words of compassionate hope.

Each petal that is designed yearly by our Lord above are inscribed the words 'FIGHT! GANBARE'.

Today, as my new first graders were preparing to take their first steps as elementary students, my family began to say goodbye to my dear grandmother as her body begins to shut down.

The Lord above knows it is the beginning of something new for my grandmother. We know it it the beginning, but of what? An earthly miracle? A Heavenly life? We will see.

Sakura, sakura, the Heart of the Lord is with us from the beginning to the end and His Will guides every step in between. 

'Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding.

In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.'

Proverbs 3:5-6 NASB

Sakura, Sakura, to you, my Lord, I lift my grandma and her new beginnings. Amen.